I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
