We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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