the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
