U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
