too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
