I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
