I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
