She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
