When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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