You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
