how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
