she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
