erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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