I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
