I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
