I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
