Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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