Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
