i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I need a beard to bite.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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