eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
