i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
