you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
