I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
