dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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