Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
