HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
