We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
