well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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