Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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