Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
