its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
