You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
