the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
