i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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