I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
