I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
