why didn't you poke me back
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
