Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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