Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
