but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
