somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
