Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
