i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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