singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
