the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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