i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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