so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
