Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
