I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
