so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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