Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to make a zoo with you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
