I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I look better un-naked...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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