This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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