this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
