Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
