yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
